If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
