I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
