We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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