You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
