Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
