oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I skipped work to stalk him.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
