Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm jealous of your bromance
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
