What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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