$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
