just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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