So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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