Jerry, you need to find god
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
