Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
