I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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