It's a beautiful day for a hangover
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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