You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
