But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
