I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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