I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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