I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
