Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
