JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
