i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I believe in your delicious
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
