Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
