if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
