my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
