Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
where are you?
Hypothermia
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize