Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
