It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
