We're like a lot better than the average bears
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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