My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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