True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
