remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
