I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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