Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
