I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
a search helicopter?!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
