I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
