hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
