It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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