im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
