so that wasnt chicken after all
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
