Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
