i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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