Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
