.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
