It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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