whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
