I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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