Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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