My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
